


solar cycle

by cashmiracles



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Blindness, Domestic Violence, F/M, Mental Illness, Toxic Relationship, domestic abuse, female on male sexual abuse, wanna cover all my bases here ok but it's not terribly graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-20 01:50:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8231947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cashmiracles/pseuds/cashmiracles
Summary: Rika isn't good for V.





	

Rika hated that word more and more as her paranoia and the deep, piercing dissatisfaction with herself mounted, up and up and on and on like a snake eating its own tail forever and ever. 

She had been so bright and loving, calm and with a temper as agreeable as any human being could manage, but lately ...

And then, there was that word.

No.

The single syllable phrase could set her off, and V never knew when it might. 

He could say it some days and not others. He had become accurate in assuming which says she was touchy, those days when he tip-toed around the tiniest vocal inflection that might be misconstrued as argumentative.

She was still the Rika he knew deep down, although she acted worse and worse ...

It was cyclical; she would do something awful and then, as if she got it out of her system, she'd act as if nothing happened. No acknowledgement or apology, just a reversion to domestic 'normalcy'. V never felt truly safe, however. Oh, but he loved her and wanted to see her happy; or maybe, was it that he loved who she used to be ?

He lay in bed, on his side with his fiancé snuggled against his back, soft and as menacing as a valentine bear. Rika was warm against him, and with a single arm thrown around his body he couldn't fight the urge to take her hand, hold it tenderly and gently. He only knew it was morning, because he could tell it was lighter in the room than it was before going to bed. 

He held the hand of the woman who had beat him until he went blind.

\---

On those bad days when Rika was twitchy and looking for something to take her hurt out on, she'd explode on Jihyun for just about anything she could use for an excuse. 

Her favourite excuse was for refusing her what she wanted; what she wanted usually wasn't material. What Rika wanted from him was a confirmation that she wasn't paranoid, that she wasn't 'going crazy'. An admission, him to tell her that her allegations about anything from him cheating to calling her parents about her was true. 

But it wasn't. And he kept to his stories because he refused to lie to her just to feed that voice in her head that made her scared and doubtful.

So she'd hit him.

\---

She'd accused him of cheating that night too, when he had told her he was going to get a bite with Jumin. 

An hour's delay by way of good company and bad traffic and he'd come home to her, in her lingerie as if before that hour passed she had been waiting to surprise him, which she had - but thoughts, oh awful thoughts of him on the promenade with his rich friend (a virgin loser by all accounts) couldn't have just been them talking all the time, right ? So what was it ? A love hotel and prostitutes ? Did Jumin finally want some pussy that wasn't a cat ? Did he drag Jihyun into it ?

He saw that look in her eyes, a look of barely bridled fury and immense hurt, and like a tidal wave she descended upon him.

\---

She'd got him into the room by coercion by way of her fists, hitting his arms and back and forcing him inside, onto the bed. He was tired, and didn't want to. 

"Rika, please I didn't -"

"Prove it to me, then !" She was desperate, desperate for validation and V was desperate to leave. But he couldn't. What would Rika do if he did ? What would she do to herself ... ?

She straddled him, her thin negligee clinging to her damp skin, sheer black material that barely covered her most intimate parts. V was terrified, but wouldn't. Couldn't do it to her. Couldn't push her off or hit her to make it stop.

He was taught better. Knew better. Rika was fragile, even while grinding against him and choking him - even while he begged breathlessly for her to cease so he could go to bed because he was so, so tired from travel soso sorry he can't couldn't do it tonight but she insisted with her body and kept her diminutive weight held against him. Her hands roamed his body and stripped him, took it off with delicate ease and he shivered with dread. 

She took a hand off his throat. "Shh. Jihyun, look at me." He didn't want to. Didn't even want to see that fuzzy silhouette that was Rika, but he opened his eyes and looked with dull eyes, eyes that were so vibrant and pretty at one point. An allegory for their relationship ?

She reached back and palmed at his crotch. He felt nothing. Wasn't hard. Felt sick to his stomach. His breathing was slow and harsh, shaky and anxious like a scared rabbit. She found V cornered like this endearing, especially when she saw the hurt and fear manifest on his countenance, his body rigid like rigor set in while he tried not to panic.

She played with him there until she got bored and slid down, and he was inside her, her on top of him and he was shaking, shaking with laboured breath, long since past the precipice of anxiety. Jihyun felt like he was drowning.

He felt her weight shift, felt the plush of her breasts against his chest and she kissed his unresponsive mouth. It felt like an injection of anaesthetic, cold and numbing. He didn't feel anything; this wasn't Rika. It's always what he told himself.

As she moved, moaning and grasping at him he stayed rigid and laid there, hoping against all odds for the bed to open and swallow him whole.

\---

It was morning. He knew because it was lighter than it was when he finally went to bed after staring at what he presumed to be the wall until early in the morning, her against him, holding him tightly and refusing to let him go. She was gone now, because Rika had a life of her own and V couldn't voice his concerns about her interests, or the amount of time she spent out.

No, because that was just unfair ...

He didn't want to move. Couldn't. Arms and legs heavy at his side and feeling like stone. He heard his phone vibrate, once, twice, again and again with the conversations his friends were likely having in the RFA chat room but he couldn't gather the energy to reach for it. 

The creak of the front door didn't rouse him, nor did its shutting, the click of the lock or Rika calling out "I'm back !" Too joyous, too airy and bubbly. He didn't even look to the (presumably open) bedroom door. 

He felt nothing. But he was sure he loved her.

Or, who she was meant to be, and going to be once she listened. Yeah ... He'd have his Rika back someday, the woman he met and not this fox wearing a mask. She'd come back. She'd listen. All he needed was to be more understanding.

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty bad but I basically wanted to write someone in the mindset of a severely toxic relationship and viola. Hope I got it accurate enough.
> 
> won't lie I had to give the game a break because of how v was treated. I'll make him happy in another fic I swear.
> 
> also did this on my phone didn't grammar check rip.


End file.
